March 26, 2004

Learned helplessness

At one point today, during the Teaching Skills workshop I am currently presenting in Manchester, the comment was made that many people find some activities and topics a “bit embarrassing” and are reluctant to participate. Later, an educator said that she sometimes gives the group permission to feel embarrassed, suggesting that “if they are unhappy practising these positions in front of the group, then they can practice at outside the room”. This was in the context of preparing them for having to make themselves comfortable in labour, perhaps under the watchful eyes of a midwife.

It seems to me that this is a good example of the “learned helplessness” that afflicts many English women. If someone suggests that “they might feel embarrassed” doing something it encourages women to feel this way. No wonder that people don’t participate easily in group work, or feel comfortable exploring some issues - if the facilitator gives out these kinds of messages it is hardly likely to help people see themselves differently.

It is the same in the labour wards. When midwives say to women “you’re doing well now, but don’t forget that of you need something for the pain later, just let me know” it sends a message that women are poor creatures that will need help, that this is not a matter of “if” but “when”.

This is one aspect of the birth culture that needs changing. Instead of telling women that they are strong and resilient and capable of looking after themselves, they receive various messages that they are weak, need looking after, rescuing from uncomfortable situations and shielding from difficult issues in life. Imagine the difference if they were told they were strong, had ideas that were worthwhile, could develop any skills they needed to further their own personal goals and had the internal fortitude (guts!) to make tackling any task possible!

Pregnancy and birth offer unique opportunities for self discovery and we must find ways of enabling it to happen. The way we communicate with women throughout this life experience will shape their views and colour their interpretations of not only of this momentous event but of themselves.

As educators we must carefully weigh the words we use in our classes. Honesty is an important ingredient and confidence building activities and exercises that promote self discovery are important elements in our programs. I don’t see any place for giving women permission to feel “embarrassed” or for “sitting out if you are not happy to participate”, except in exceptional circumstances, which would be best dealt with individually.

Learned helplessness is an issue that I will be raising in the group tomorrow. It will be interesting to get their views!

Posted by andrea at March 26, 2004 06:00 AM